Monday, March 16, 2009

Mom School

I seriously think that I need to enroll in college for moms. You would have thought with 3 that I would fail to be surprised.... NOPE! I think that classes for mom-school should consist of the following.....
Mom 101- Diapering and feeding your child (this is a relatively easy "freshman" level course)
Mom 201 (onto Sophomore classes already!)- Learning to construct active and meaningful playtime while still teaching your young ones. This class would consist of exercises like, teaching your child to count while measuring out flour for cookies (and actually being able to keep track of how much REALLY went in!), sorting clean laundry into small, medium and large size piles and matching socks.
Mom 301 and 401 would be a little more in-depth. Classes could include "Removal of objects from bodily orifices" and "Removal of objects from odd pieces of furniture"......... Never in my life did I consider that I would need a degree in mechanics to get the plastic Mickey Mouse out of the VCR, or that I would need a degree in Otolaryngology (EMT) to remove the random bobby pin from my daughters ear canal!
Today my skills as a mother were again put to the test. I guess I forgot to take the "removal of odd substances" class..... who would have ever thought that my 2 year old would figure out how to paint her nails, tattoo herself and my furniture with a Sharpie marker. I have found more uses for toothpaste that I ever imagined possible! Bet you didn't know that plain generic white paste will take Sharpie out of wood! Or that plain old rubbing alcohol will get pen out of upholstery. Now you know..... but never claim that you have your degree.... They'll just find another way to enhance your learning!

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