Tuesday, September 29, 2009


I never used to be scared or nervous about what would be found when Dr ordered a test. These days it's hard not to be. What changed? I know I haven't changed anything in my diet or routine for the worse, so why is it when I'm concentrating on staying healthy, I get nervous when they need another test? Perhaps I am beginning to taste my own mortality. The frailty of my being. Perhaps it's not so much worry about the "what if" for me, but more for the "what would my family do". I have three little ones to think about now.. that will make you realize your mortality more than anything in this world! I'm just thankful that I can take that worry, that doubt, the questions, and lay them down. Resign myself to release control... a hard task for me, but doable...and let HIM drive for a while!

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