Wednesday, March 23, 2011

And Then God Created This Mother….

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into his sixth day of 'overtime' when an angel appeared and said,"You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said "Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 180 moveable parts – all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that disappears when she stands up, a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair and six pairs of hands, ears that will hear things she doesn't want to hear, a mouth that can gently kiss away scrapes and bruises and yet tear the hide right off of those who try anything against the best interests of her child. Yes, this model will have to be able to sit patiently and listen to outlandish reports about her child without flinching. She will have to hear how hopeless it all is and know that it isn't so. She will have to have those kinds of eyes which don't tear when she hears other mothers talk about how well things are going for their children." The angel shook its head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands, yet? No way." "It's not the hands that are causing the problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes this mother has to have." "That's on the standard model"? asked the angel. The Lord nodded and said, "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows. Another pair here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know and, of course, the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up for the 99th time and say, "I understand and I love you anyway" without so much as uttering a word. "Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve gently, "come to bed. Tomorrow…" "I can't, answered the Lord, "I am so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, feeds a family of six on one pound of hamburger and gets her nine-year-old to stand under a shower." The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," it sighed. "But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure." "Can it think?" asked the angel. "Not only can it think," said the Creator, "it can reason and compromise." Finally, the angel bent over and ran a finger across the cheek. "There is a leak," it pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model." "That's not a leak, said the Lord, "it's a tear." "What's it for?" asked the angel. "Tears are for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride… this model will know a lot about all that" answered the Lord, "But you know" He continued, "I don't even remember putting that tear there." "By the way", asked the angel, "what will you call this model?" "I will call this one simply, the mother of an autistic child."

Author Unknown

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Droughts in the rain

The last few weeks have been incredibly overwhelming for me. Besides all five of us sharing a stomach bug, I have had just about every deadline come due this week. Deadlines for funding registrations and for school paperwork. Meetings with social workers, information coming out my ears that I don't understand. And to top it all off, it has rained 6 out of 7 days this week. And now it's snowing. In my unloading on every person that has the unfortunate experience of crossing my path this week I have dug myself deeper and deeper into my pit. The feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion are boiling over. And then, in a moment of silence, I sit down at my computer. Not to fill or file any application, but just to "catch up" with my blog friends. To be a person for a few minutes and maybe laugh. The Lord has a funny sense of humor. The moments that I just finally have a second to myself He reminds me that the stress would be much easier if I would let him carry it :) I stopped by my friend Ocean Mommy 's blog and read her post. Both of the verses she talks about really jumped out at me, but Isaiah 45:3 hit me the hardest...

I will give you the treasures of darkness, and the hoards in secret places that you will know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by name.

While I would consider Autism my detour, the Lord is showing me that there are treasures in this darkness. Right now I'm having a hard time seeing it, but I haven't exactly been letting His light shine for me recently. So thank you, Stephanie. Thank you for exposing your struggle and helping me realize that there is treasure in mine! :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Spring please

Our trip to Disney a few weeks ago created a thirst for spring in this house. Kids are anxious to get back outside, I'm itching to do some major cleaning. I actually opened the windows the other day just to get some fresh air! Yay for sun! :)
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